My husband is 87 and lives in a SNF with Parkinson's and I handle all of our financial matters, including his medical bills and nursing home payments. He is unable to write legibly or speak clearly. Therefore, I suspect he would be deemed incompetent. Since a POA is not acceptable, what is the status/consideration of the wife (I am in my 60's) being appointed as fiduciary?
A spouse can be appointed as the Fiduciary. You would need to go through the application process and wait until the VA makes the ruling of "incompetency", and then deal with the appointment of Fiduciary.