My 86 year old widowed mother-in-law is now in need of 24 hour care. Her children have been paying my husband and me $250 a week for helping her with all meals, dressing, and helping her into and out of bed daily as well as all yard and housekeeping care. Her doctor said she now needs 24/7 care as he is afraid she will fall as she can no longer walk and care for herself. 3 of her 4 children think the answer is a nursing home. She just wants to stay in HER home for as long as she lives. My husband (her youngest son) and I are willing to move into her home and care for her so she can remain in her home. Her other 3 children contacted an agency who mentioned that she would qualify for VA BENEFITS as in the Aid and Attendence BUT the agency will only help her get the benefits IF my mother-in-law agrees to use THEIR services - 10 hours a week. She doesn't want a stranger caring for her, she wants her son and me to care for her as we have for the past 6+ years. She gets SS in the amount of approx $1600.00 monthly. I will not be able to work and care for her full time (I am a nurse). Some compensation would help. Since her doctor says she needs full time - round the clock care will she qualify for the Aid and Assistance program? How long does the qualifying take? What do I need to do to get the process started? My husband and I are trying to honor her wishes to stay in her home and yet not lose our home in the process.