I just posted my experience under A&A "Success" story but I wanted to reply to you because I went through a similar wait. I guess my advice at this point is: contact your Congress person. I suspect that the VA has a different process once a senator or rep is in touch with them--for me, it all moved lightning fast after MONTHS of waiting, once my senator's office got in touch with them. And I don't think Sen. Reed (my sen. from RI) was all too surprised to get my request--they, too, seemed to have a process in place for dealing with the VA.
Within 3 days--yes, DAYS--of receiving my request, Reed's office had sent a waiver back to me, authorizing them to contact the VA on my mother's behalf. Within a week of me signing that, someone from the VA Fiduciary dept. had called me. We met at my mother's assisted living and shortly afterwards, my mother had received her back benefits (all 15 months of them) and her monthly pension.
I waited for 6 months after receiving the award letter to do this, so my advice would be to contact your Congressional representative or Senator as soon as possible. Don't wait. It's not worth ruining your own health with all the worrying! The stress of caregiving is hard enough without having the financial worry weighing down on you.
Deb Peterson
http://yellowwallpaper.net/