estranged wife?

[katy225]

My package for my Dad's Aid and Attendance is about to go out but I'm also helping a friend of mine with her Dad's application.  She had some questions that I couldn't answer.  Thought maybe one of you wonderful, insightful people could advise.

Her Dad is married to his second wife.  They are estranged and haven't lived together since 1988.  They do not support each other and own completely separate assets.  They live in two different States.  My question is this.......Is there a form that is used for each the estranged husband and wife to fill out saying they haven't lived together and have not exchanged any monies for support?  Is a letter sufficient?  Should it be notarized?

Also, how do they verify the Vets income and other assets?  Don't they cross reference with the IRS?  I was under the impression they did and I told my friend so.
The VA couldn't possibly take someone's word for it, right?  Wow, the massive fraud that could occur if they didn't check other sources. lol  What about the caregiver's salary?  They can't look at their IRS info, so how would they know?  I once spoke with a young man at one of the Elder Care Services and asked him about that very thing.  Apparently, he wasn't very well educated in these matters because he said to me......"You're taking care of your Father.  How is that income?"  I told him thanks for the info but he was wrong! (hopefully, I'm right)  Isn't it income and pay for services regardless if he was your father or not!   Seems like the VA could give the IRS head's up and say......"check this person out and see if she's claiming this as income".

Hopefully you could provide some solid advice I can give this lady. 

Thanks!

[vetadmin]

Assets for a married veteran have to be given for both.  If they don't know where the wife is or how to contact her, you can include that information on the application, and should do a letter explaining in detail they have no knowledge of their whereabouts, have not lived together in "x" number of years.  The hope is the VA would allow the application based on his income along and work with them on getting the application processed.  It does make things more challenging, and can add more time to getting a decison.

The VA does utilize the IRS filings.

If someone is paid in exchange for being a caregiver, yes, it has to be counted as income, and yes, that person is responsible for claiming it as income to the IRS.  The VA has been known to ask for the SS# of a private caregiver.